mercredi 6 février 2008

Comet Holmes versus Solar Saturn versus Earth

First, a new effortlessly mind-blowing article by the Wrong Way Wizard: My brain suddenly feels too small after reading this, I should upgrade to Quantum 8.0

Now, an idea I've been entertaining for a while: I think Comet Holmes may save the world from the New Holy Roman Empire. You see, the Jesuits and the Vatican are planning to turn Saturn into a Second Sun, using the nuclear reactor of the Cassini space probe. This is known as the "Lucifer Project", and its happening THIS AUGUST, only 6 months from now!

The tremendous waves of nuclear radiation from the newborn (or resurrected) star will reduce the world population to more manageable numbers (and, ironically, all of the chronic smokers will survive, because cigarettes protect against nuclear radiation by leaking out metallic elements from the human body; this is very bad when its light metals that we need like iron and zinc, but its very good when its heavy metals that kill us like uranium and plutonium. What, you thought they wanted you to stop smoking because they actually cared about your health? They just wanted you to die like everyone else when WWIII and Saturn blow up!), UNLESS... some giant ball of plasma deflects or absorbs most of the radiation coming towards Earth. Some giant ball of plasma that appeared out of nowhere and that keeps growing, and growing, and growing...

Who sent that thing anyway? Am I the only one reminded of the movie "The Fifth Element" here?

3 commentaires:

mark leclair a dit…

Hey JB,

I like your idea about cigarettes.

I don't know if you remember the scifi series 'V'.

In it, humans discover an earth compound that is lethal to alien invaders but only troublesome to humans. Could it be nicotine?!

It would be a marvelous day to see man woman and child spark a dutchie in the name of saving humanity.

Da WWWiz

JB a dit…

Anyone watch Bill Maher on Larry King Live? He said that Mormons are "shapeshifters".

Not in the reptilian sense of course, but its strange since I remember David Icke saying that Mormon HQ over in Salt Lake City is an underground base for reptilian shapeshifters.

FilmNoir23 a dit…

Did you see that Saturn was in the news yesterday?