lundi 23 janvier 2012

Timeline of the Gods (V. L. O. P. E. is a FLOP)

3.5 billion years ago: An extremely advanced extraterrestrial intelligence feels bored and lonely, no one to communicate with in this big, strange, empty Universe, decides to create life in its own image to eventually have someone to talk to. Seeds life on Venus, Earth, Mars, and perhaps one or two other planets in this solar system. Waits for life to develop.

500 million years ago: Earth seems to yield the best results in the V. L. O. P. E. (Very Long Observation Panspermia Experiment), so eliminates all life on the surface of the other planets, they are no longer needed. Venus is now boiling over, Mars is freezing over, and the remaining one or two planets are reduced to an asteroid belt. Life on Earth must explode and take a new direction however, so mass extinction event is generated.

65 million years ago: Fifth mass extinction event is generated, archaic reptilian forms now replaced by more promising mammalian forms. A prototype intelligent, humanoid, reptilian form is kept underground as a side-project.

300,000 years ago (more or less): Mammals have attained maximal development, the extraterrestrial "gods" decide to take a more active role in the creation. Hominids are genetically modified with both reptilian traits and "divine" traits to complete experiment. Psychological conditioning is imposed through language and culture to ensure that future human beings not only look like the "gods", but also think like them.

6,000 years ago - present day (2012): Our creators realize that although we finally look and think just like they did at the beginning of the V. L. O. P. E., they no longer have anything in common with us after 3.5 billion years of biological, technological and spiritual evolution. The experiment is considered to be a tremendous waste of time and an abject failure. The alien creator "gods" wash their hands clean of us and leave our fate to be decided by their also abandoned reptilian side-project and their human-reptilian hybrids. The end, maybe.

4 commentaires:

dboy a dit…

nice one jb. your story is consistent and as likely as any other explanation. has the added benefit of being a good story.

Michael a dit…

Hi JD, glad to see you are still posting. BTW, what is up with Chris Crocker? He/she's gone all steroidal or something.

Like dboy said, as likely as any of the other creation myths. Write your own Genesis, it would be a huge step up from the current one.

JB a dit…

Thanks for the comments.

dboy- I owe Goro Adachi, Richard Hoagland, various ancient mythologies and actual fossilized evidence most of the credit for the VLOPE theory. All I ever do is attempt to connect the dots in an intuitive manner.

Michael- Chris is pumping iron for sure, exploring the more masculine side of his personae. He can still go back to full femme fatale mode whenever he pleases (thank god).

adeoe a dit…

nice one jb. your story is consistent and as likely as any other explanation. has the added benefit of being a good story.